Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
