What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I wish there were birth control emojis
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
