well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
