Apparently you make a good broom.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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