escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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