I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I understand Curling. That high.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
