Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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