I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
