she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
