Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
