Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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