I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
