physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
