i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
