I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
