i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We are all done wearing pants today
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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