I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
