Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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