Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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