...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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