Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize