So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
