Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
