I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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