I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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