I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he thought i was a dude.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
