Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
tell me about the fingering
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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