covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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