Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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