i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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