That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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