i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
