hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
