the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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