i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
