Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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