there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
