Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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(401): so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night" (1-401): um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her http://tfl.nu/rdn4

Replies (12) Good night (800) Bad night (2310)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I cut my penus on the lid.

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(316): I cut my penus on the lid. http://tfl.nu/uger

Replies (38) Good night (579) Bad night (6194)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Umm..who the fuck is this?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Oh shit

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(781): Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them? (617): Umm..who the fuck is this? (781): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ik4c

Replies (54) Good night (2110) Bad night (6400)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.

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(314): Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced. http://tfl.nu/yqud

Replies (14) Good night (6236) Bad night (795)
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(214): View more from Texas

It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.

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(214): It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls. http://tfl.nu/oc6k

Replies (36) Good night (1365) Bad night (6113)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.

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(615): My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed. http://tfl.nu/zn3p

Replies (22) Good night (5198) Bad night (1060)
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(301): View more from Maryland

There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting

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(301): There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting http://tfl.nu/c2mi

Replies (5) Good night (2469) Bad night (1236)
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(303): View more from Colorado

We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

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(303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536

Replies (8) Good night (2723) Bad night (492)
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(213): View more from California

I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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(213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr

Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (2362)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.

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(773): Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/cuh5

Replies (3) Good night (1332) Bad night (627)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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(202): No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park http://tfl.nu/eb3c

Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (607)
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(847): View more from Illinois

It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.

(224): View more from Illinois

Those were right hand only?

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(847): It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times. (224): Those were right hand only? http://tfl.nu/iwna

Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (340)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.

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(985): Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine. http://tfl.nu/rmj5

Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (216)
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(530): View more from California

Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

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(530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd

Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (539)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS

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(717): IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS http://tfl.nu/i9d5

Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (244)

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