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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks

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  19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (806): View more from Texas

  I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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• (916): View more from California

  The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws

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• 

  21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick

  (216): View more from Ohio

  In a very non respectful way

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.

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