I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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