Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
