Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
