i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off