Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(347): View more from New York

apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road. http://tfl.nu/bhjm

Replies (56) Good night (849) Bad night (4816)
Favorite
(480): View more from Arizona

turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(480): turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way. http://tfl.nu/4k3o

Replies (30) Good night (4943) Bad night (847)
Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed http://tfl.nu/08b9

Replies (64) Good night (1912) Bad night (4418)
Favorite
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(267): Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend http://tfl.nu/as99

Replies (21) Good night (5502) Bad night (1009)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

(816): View more from Missouri

that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0

Replies (35) Good night (12480) Bad night (1477)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3 http://tfl.nu/4ua9

Replies (10) Good night (3277) Bad night (1016)
Favorite
(+43): View more from

She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+43): She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in. http://tfl.nu/w2z8

Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (2339)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/voq5

Replies (18) Good night (2581) Bad night (885)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester http://tfl.nu/20yd

Replies (11) Good night (608) Bad night (2962)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/pnkf

Replies (4) Good night (2019) Bad night (505)
Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5

Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (298)
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window? http://tfl.nu/40u0

Replies (6) Good night (559) Bad night (219)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA http://tfl.nu/ocjg

Replies (5) Good night (273) Bad night (785)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat

(615): View more from Tennessee

And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing

(203): View more from Connecticut

Did you run away?

(615): View more from Tennessee

I DANCED AWAY.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat (615): And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing (203): Did you run away? (615): I DANCED AWAY. http://tfl.nu/ipjx

Replies (1) Good night (855) Bad night (367)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning. http://tfl.nu/ay6g

Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (663)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: