I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds