the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
