i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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