he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
