Screwed.edu
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
