im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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