i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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