I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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