Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
