I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize