brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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