One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the day after is always just damage control
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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