My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
