i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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