zippers are such a cool invention
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
