how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
