you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i was born a porn star she said
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize
