2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
