So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
