she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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