I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize