The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
