Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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