How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
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Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
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I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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