Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
