You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
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Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
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It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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