Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
