I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
